Earth Hour – kill your neighbour’s dog and leave the lights on

Earth Hour – a futile and scientifically unsound gesture towards making ourselves feel better about screwing the earth over.

Advocates say it makes people think about the earth. Well wouldn’t it be better to think about it for more than one hour a year? If I was the earth I would be feeling a bit ripped off. New Zealand and Australia both get one whole day a year to them selves, and the whole earth only gets an hour? Shouldn’t it be earth week and we all get a one week holiday?

But wont switching off lights at least drop load at the power station and reduce emissions? No! The Power stations are on idle at night – they have to run at a minimum load. Switching off lights at night doesn’t make them generate any less electricity.  The power is there to use.  It’s the DAY time that they go flat-out.

So, if you DO want to reduce energy-produced carbon emissions by a MINISCULE amount by switching off lights, first connect to an electricity provider that isn’t already green, and then switch off lights during the day. But only if your electricity provider is not green already!

Q. What are the folk that do follow Earth Hour going to do in the dark?

A. Make carbon-emission producing kids, burn candles to produce light really inefficiently, or  go for a drive in their SUVs/Hummers to town to spend money on so stuff whose packaging is plastic and created by some filthy pollution generating Chinese factory.

SO, what CAN you do if you really want to make a difference to the earth at Earth Hour?

Take your kids on a family activity to kill your neighbours dog! By doing this you will be saving the earth from the massive emissions of dog food production, and canning processes,  AND the carbon dioxide and methane that the dog would have created from its consumption.

Your neighbour wont have to drive their dog to the park in their SUV anymore either. Win Win.

Brilliant.

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